They Both Die at the End

I recently finished a book called They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera (totally recommend!) and it was about two queer teenage boys getting a call shortly after midnight and learning they will die in the next 24 hours. They don’t know when or how – the fictional service that makes the calls, Death-Cast, doesn’t have those details – but they know it is that day and it is all they will have. Eventually our protagonists get together via an app call “Last Friend” and from the early hours of that morning onward they share their Last Day. These two boys have a plethora of adventures, with breakthroughs and closures and all kinds of emotional moments but both being 17/18 years old, one of the realizations in the book was that their journey ends that day and they felt like they hadn’t done anything or lived at all. Or did they? Read the book and find out. (Also, the title doesn’t lie but you still feel those deaths at the end.)

It was a charming and heartbreaking read that really made me reflect on how I would handle that situation, how I am living now, and am I making the most of it?

The conversation of funerals and “immediate death identity” (that’s the identity you are given by whomever is speaking at your funeral) aside – we will talk about that another time - how does the knowledge of dying and death inform our decisions? I’m sure most of us are “out of sight, out of mind” but as Death workers we think about Death and the Dying all the time. Yet, even as a Death Worker, the questions still have lingered. As with our boys from the book I do wonder: Would I be riddled with regret of “coulda, shoulda, woulda”? Terrified to leave my apartment to avoid impending doom? Or do risk it all and have the best day of my life? Can I make a difference in that day that cements who I was in this world?

These are big questions to ponder and I’m not so cavalier to pretend I have any answers. But I do know that through our work here at the Mortal Path Alliance, we can have a relationship with Death or Dying that helps us and other live without being afraid of it. We can understand the why, the need, what folks experience next, and all kinds of facets. We even specialize in helping those we leave behind dealing with grief and letting go. But even with all that Death work under my belt, I’m surprised at how impactful this reflection has been. Just simply wondering what time has been wasted and what memories are important, did I do enough, whose lives did I impact, was my calling fulfilled, and even wondering am I surrounding myself with the right people, what am I leaving behind and who will I be remembered as.

I don’t think it is something we need to dwell on every minute of every day but it something to think about and they pretty important questions to consider, even if we don’t have an agency that calls us up to tell is today’s the last day.